Throughout one’s entire adolescence, growing up is romanticized and put on a pedestal — it symbolizes freedom, individuality, dependence and seemingly is when those confusing teenage hormones finally wear off and life can finally begin.
But, is the reality of adulthood all that great?
Bea Miller’s Mr. Peaked In High School realizes through harsh self-reflection, regretful nostalgia and pessimistic characterizations that being an adult doesn’t actually live up to the ideal that it was promised — and, worst of all, it’s inevitable.
The New York-born artist isn’t new to the spotlight, which is what the core of her latest album stems from. At age 13, Miller shone on X-Factor and went on to dominate the music scene throughout her adolescence with hit songs “Fire N Gold,” “feel something” and more.
Now in her late 20s, Miller is back to poke fun at those teen years in the spotlight, both in terms of what she misses, but also what she missed out on. Her first album since 2018’s AURORA, Miller is her truest and best self in Mr. Peaked In High School, proof that the singer is actually the opposite of what the title suggests.
“I thought apathy was my new personality trait,” Miller said. After taking steps toward healing her mental health throughout her hiatus, she finally felt inspired enough to make music again.
“That did make a big impact on my ability to create and I actually felt a desire to be alive and create for the first time in a long time.”
Photo courtesy of °1824
The album’s overarching message is how adulthood doesn’t feel like Miller thought it would when she was a teen, back when her career was hot and everything felt carefree. First track “born to lose” hits the nail on the head with this concept, with Miller accepting that her current life is actually really far from perfect. She’s extremely hyperbolic and self-deprecating — themes that carry on throughout the following 12 songs.
What makes “born to lose” stand out, however, is the album title’s name drop in the bridge:
“And nothing’s ever gonna feel the way it always felt back then / I’m Mr. Peaked in High School, but I never even went”
Miller’s humorous approach to her extreme feelings is what makes her music so relatable and palatable. Who doesn’t make light of their bad situations? It seems as if her sense of humor is all Miller has left as she’s breaking down. What makes it even better is that she knows she’s funny, which is shown through lyrical mentions of her own humor, including in “L.A. UGLY” where she admits “I’m L.A. ugly / But that’s okay ’cause I’m so funny / So either way the hot people fuck me.”
Depression, envy and self-inflated ego are intertwined throughout Mr. Peaked In High School, with “sex for ATTENTION” exploring Miller’s unhealthy self-sabotaging habits, “pretty and alone” confidently sulking on why no one wants her, and “hottest girls” pitting herself against the so-called “hottest girl that anyone has ever seen.”
Like many other artists, Miller is unfortunately no stranger to comments online, which fuel a lot of her album. It used to bother her, she admitted, but now she wants to get ahead of the jests and hateful remarks:
“A lot of the more negative things I hear […] like, ‘2016 called and they want Bea Miller back,’ she said. “I’ll make the joke with you.”
Much of the album is upbeat and anthemic, an oxymoron to the insecure content material Miller conveys. “unlovable” has a groovier beat, with Miller picking apart her own flaws and self-perception, unsure how to fill the void that grows bigger with each passing day. “summer of ‘16” is a slow ballad, and arguably the most moving song on the project. Miller thinks back on her wistful teenage years, the memories she’s loved and lost.
“I miss you, I wish you were here with me / To hold and indulge my nostalgia spree / Please, I, I’m on my knees for summer of ’16”
Miller keeps the subject matter of the album fairly heavy, but it hardly feels that way with the ’80s-pop influenced production and her perfectly-sarcastic line delivery. The album’s lead single features an addicting clap beat and tackles her own poor mental health through means of dwindling it down to being just “another girl depressed on thе Internet.” The exasperated song feels like the Gen-Z mindset in a nutshell, bluntly calling out the issue of disappearing into the rabbit-hole of the unfiltered Internet instead of facing problems head on.
“When I was 13,/14/15, I hadn’t even heard the phrase ‘digital footprint.” I was just a kid trying to figure things out,” Miller said. “[…] realizing that maybe for some I might have been a role model, even though I was too young to understand the consequences of that, and I was looking for my own role model.”
“drunk enough” finds Miller blurring the line of friend and more-than-friend, diving into the difficulties of finding “the one” in your 20s. This theme goes deeper in “past my prime,” where the singer compares her current love life to those around her, including her ex who is now moving in with his new girlfriend — a clear implication that she’s behind, or there is something wrong with her.
“Am I past my prime or do I just need more time?”
Miller called it “disgusting” how women in pop culture are pitted against each other in a way that men simply aren’t, in forms of body image and general beauty standard comparisons, which is where the unwanted thoughts of “peaking” and “prime” come into play in her album.
“You gain a couple pounds, and it’s in the news. You miss a note, and it’s in the news,” Miller said. “It’s things like that that really have taken away from the music and the artistry […] and are sexist at their core. It’s been something I’ve had to deal with in my career.”
On the flip side, “take you with me” feels like a stark difference from the rest of the album’s content. It is still the extremely-hyperbolic Miller we’ve grown to love, but this time it’s the other side of the coin — loving someone so much you have to do anything and everything to show it. From tattooing their name on her body to taking them with her to death, Miller finally shows us a glimpse of pure happiness in her life; a light in the midst of dark in Mr. Peaked In High School.
Ironically, Miller said this song was the hardest for her to write, as it came after her beloved dog Ollie passed away. In the studio, Miller and her collaborators were able to channel that deep love for her dog and turn it into the love song it is today.
The final song “PARTY” ends the album with just that; an eccentric, club-like beat that dives into the uncertainty of the future. Miller fills this track with existential questions (like why bugs only get to live for a few months) and declares that she will simply party instead. This song is blissful ignorance at its core, with mentions of putting off debt and leaving a trashy house after death because it won’t be her problem anymore — so what’s the point of it all?
Mr. Peaked In High School is perfectly Bea Miller; she has never been afraid of diving into her own identity and what that truly means, and this album does that in the deepest, most vulnerable ways she possibly could have. She’s self-deprecating, depressed and envious of life passing her by, but she also welcomes it and joins in on the joke of existence instead of letting it make a joke out of her.
“I haven’t felt this proud about something that I’ve made in maybe my entire life,” Miller said. “I’m not looking ahead at the next thing, I’m looking ahead at this thing.”
And she’s right. Miller may feel like her prime hit in 2016 in every facet possible, but this album is proof that time hasn’t ruined her, nor made her flaws any bigger — instead, it has matured her sound, her voice and, most importantly, herself. The self-doubting insecurities may never truly vanish, because that’s what it is to be human, but Miller has opened an unfiltered door to these conversations, letting in all the young women in their 20s to be equally as chaotic, extreme and sad — but this time making sure they’re not alone.
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